Well this is a long time coming. I haven't written since last year and so so much has changed in those missing blogged months. For starters, in May of last year my bf and I broke up, which left me heartbroken once again. All the progress I'd made with my working out and eating right really went out the window. I could feel myself quickly spiraling down but I wasn't sure how to stop. In the midst of a shattered heart, I continued to work full time until August came calling. I enrolled at the local University and nervously hopped I would be able to find a job. But just like always God came through right on time and supplied me with a job in the same area I'd been working in for the last five years. Looking back now, I realize the importance of those five years that helped me get this job. With everything in place, I settled into the routine of full time student and found that I truly enjoy it! If not for the grace of God I would never have been able to say that. He has helped me along the way and is continuing to help me as I enter my first semester as a Sophomore. And as I listened to a very wise speaker tonight I understand that the trials I had to endure last year, were tests to see what I knew and how strong I was. I feel at this point that I am stronger and know a little more than I did last year. Thank you Jesus that I can say that. Habakkuk 3:17-19 says "17 Though the fig tree should not blossom And there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold, And there be no cattle in the stalls, 18 Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. 19 The Lord GOD is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places."
What an awesome encouragement and challenge all within one small passage. The challenge is to Praise God in the bad times. When everything seems to be going wrong, when the future looks dark and bleak. That's when you need to rejoice in the Lord. It's easy to be happy and sing at the top of your lungs when everything is going your way, but the true test comes when you are going through a trial. Will you wallow in your sorrow or will you get off your woes and sing of the goodness and faithfulness of God? The encouragement contained in the passage is that the Lord is your strength. Oftentimes its easy to forget that God is strong enough for us to lean on. We try so hard to lean on ourselves, which in the end leads to disappointment, discouragement and doubt. But here God is speaking to us and reminding us that HE is our strength and when we rely on HIM, he will make our feet like hinds feet in high places. Now you ask what does that mean? Well Matthew Henry puts it this way, "Then we shall be strong for spiritual warfare and work, and with enlargement of heart may run the way of his commandments, and outrun our troubles. And we shall be successful in spiritual undertakings."
And so I've found myself in this new year longing for more. More of God, more awareness of his love for me and those around me, more word, more passion...more. I want to be filled up to be poured out and I know that in this new season and chapter of my life, it is essential to surround myself with the things of God and really set myself apart for the work he has for me now. I want to be tested and tried so that when the bigger things he has for me come along I will be ready.
So I purpose in my heart to love God more than I ever have before, to not wallow in how my life should have been or even dwell in self pity,doubt or what I don't have. But instead to praise God in every season and be a good steward of what he's already blessed me with. Learning to be content in every season as Paul says.
So I hope that if you are reading this, that you've been encouraged to run harder after God because in the end HE's all that matters!
Be blessed today!
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