Blood

Today for the first time, I gave blood to the Red Cross. I have forever had a fear of needles and the very thought of getting stuck with a needle would freak me out. But last year, that all changed. I was scheduled to have a health assessment, which I did not want in the least bit, when I was called to jury duty. Now if you know me, you know that sometimes things like jury duty can make me so nervous. But I didn't have a choice, so I went. As is usual for the standard proceedings, several people are called and then interviewed to see if he or she will be fit to be a juror for that case. As each name was called I prayed my name would not be among them. And to my relief it wasn't. But little did I know the proceedings didn't stop there. After several people had been dismissed, my name was drawn and I had the "privilege" to sit the seat closest to the person on trial. That was to this day one of the most uncomfortable things I've had to do. The case was awful. It was the sort of case that causes every fiber in your being to scream "RUN AWAY!" Verging on tears a break was called and I sat tense in the chair looking at the floor, wondering how I would get out of this. I had no reason to not be there. I was in good health and a job that would pay for me to be there. There was no way I would get out, no story I could come up with to get out of there. I was under oath after all. And suddenly I realized, I would rather be giving blood than sitting in this chair! And that's it! I was cured! I know I know. I'm so dramatic! But it worked for me. I ended up being dismissed and was so glad! The next day, I walked up the hill to get my health assessment with a smile on my face and confidence in my heart that what I was about to do was good, and right, and safe. Since that day, I've gone through another health assessment and today gave blood! I overcame my fear and by doing so, I will be able to save at least 3 lives with my blood. How awesome!
This reminds me of the sacrifice that Jesus gave. He gave ALL his blood so that I might be saved. What an awesome thing! May I ever be thankful of the blood work he did that day so I could stand here today! :)

Divine Romance with the King

So I'm really uninspired at the moment. However I am attempting to post something intelligent if not coherent. Somewhere deep inside of me lies the potential book. Of what the subject will contain, I have not a clue. But what I do know is that I enjoy writing on occasion. I've written several short stories, many many songs, and a couple dozen poems. So know when I say I like to write, I really mean it. But I've come to realize something that I didn't quite have a grasp of until recently. There are several times when writing is so quick and easy for me, and other times when I can't write a darn thing. I guess that's what you would call writers block? I'm not sure. Anyhow, songs come more naturally as I'm prone to be musically inclined. It seems though, that I haven't written in a very long time, thus the need to force myself to post this even in my half asleep state. My hope is to write every night of my vacation, which is soon. I pray that I find solace in the one who has captured my heart and that he will give me rest and direction for my life, as well as the ability to write as though I've never written before.

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Our CD is coming along. We are finally in step two of our three step process. My initial hope was to have the project completed by the end of this month. However, our photography shoot wasn't scheduled till the middle of April, leaving us no time to get the pictures to the graphic artist before the beginning of May. The woman who took our pictures, was awesome! She went to all our crazy locations and shot over 600 pictures of us. She was such a trooper! Currently she is working to edit them. Once that is done, we will send the pictures to our graphic artist who will layout the pictures as well as the lyrics for the CD booklet. After that will be step three in which we produce the whole package!!! And once all of that is done, it will finally be ready to be sold to the masses!!!! Ok maybe not the masses, but to all those people who have been waiting since January for a CD, and in some cases, those who have waited practically our whole lives for this moment. Haha...funny I say that because that is the title of our CD...spoiler alert!! Our CD will be called This Moment! :) It will contain 12 origianl songs and one amazing song by an awesome girl named Audrey Lena Baughman. I was so excited to learn that she was willing to share her song with us. The day we met her, I felt like I was meeting someone famous...c'mon I'd only seen/heard her on myspace and from what I'd heard, it was like she was famous...Ok maybe only in my mind. Anyway, she is an awesome person and it was a steller time recording with her. Thanks Audrey! You rock my face off! :) not litterally...
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I've been reading the book Captivating. It's been an eye opener, explaining things about my heart and emotions that God placed within me. Things that God longs to repair inside of us that often get ripped apart as little girls. I'm learning to love deeper than I ever have before. I'm learning that trust is not easy, but so essential to our existence. I'm also slowly learning that the God of the universe is in love with me. Not just oh I love you because I have to, or Jesus loves me this I know...but truly, deeply, in love with me. That has been hard to understand. I guess because we are taught to think otherwise; we are taught to believe that he's out to get us and that if we can't be exactly perfect that he's going to write us off forever. But that's not what God says. As women, he, the King, is enthralled with our beauty. That he loves to sing over us. He passionatly loves us with an unending, undying love. And to know that someone, the only true on that matters, desires me, longs for me, and wants me, somehow gives my soul solace and satisfaction. He's beginning to heal my heart in places I didn't know needed to be healed. He's bringing new life to my soul and changing me once again.

Jesus your beautiful.

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Divine Romance
Phil Wickham

The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied

Young-Old Love

Yesterday was my boss' wedding reception. Two years ago, her husband of 34 years died unexpectedly. He was a wonderful guy and she was devastated to loose him. As her journey through grief progressed, she found herself being healed and comforted.
One blistery winter night, six months later, she ran into a long lost friend. He had been ringing the salvation army bell at the local walmart. His innocent inquiry about her husband was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. In February of this year, I received a call in which she informed me that they had run away to get married. (I guess you're never too old to be young again!) I asked how her three grown children would respond, to which she giddily told me of their approval. Yesterday marked the celebration of their union, with guests by the dozen coming to congratulate them.
Seeing their sincere love for each other makes not only my heart but my mouth smile. She has been lucky in love twice. The best part of this story is that he has never been married. He waited 65 years before he gave his heart. And I believe in the cool mornings he quietly thanks the Father in Heaven for bestowing such a wonderful woman in whom to trust his heart.

Butterfly Kisses

The song Butterfly Kisses holds special meaning for me. The song became popular around the time I was 12. Every morning before going to school, we would listen to the christian radio station (KOBC 90.7). They would have local listeners call in and announce birthdays for that day. For my 13th birthday, as a surprise, my dad called the station and dedicated this song to me. It was sweet and of course I cried. Ten years later, I still get sentimental every time I hear the song.


butterfly kisses - Fluttering one's eyelashes on someone's skin so they just feel the tickling sensation


There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank God for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all

For butterfly kisses after bed time prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning and
Butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you don't mind
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.
"With all that I've done wrong I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morningand
Butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking
and I said "I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl.
"She leaned over...gave me

Butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"
Oh, with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning and
Butterfly kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go,
But I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning and
Butterfly kisses.

3 step program via Romans

This is Our God

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is Our God
Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Servant and King
Rescued the World
This is Our God

So recently I have been reading in Romans in The Message, which I recommend to those who like variety. It's been so rich and refreshing to my soul. Very much needed for my spiritual growth. As I was reading the beginning of Romans (chapters 1-5) God began to show me a 3 step process that can be used in any situation. The first step is to Believe (1-3). "...God's law is not something alien, imposed on us from without, but woven into the very fabric of our creation. There is something deep within them that echoes God's yes and no, right and wrong." We have to Believe in God, believe that he saved us for a reason, believe what He has spoken to us through his word, believe that he lives inside of us and that he is at work within us. The second step is to Trust (4). "...the one who trusts God to do the putting-everything-right without insisting on having a say in it is one fortunate man." It is so important that we trust God with everything. We have to trust that he will do what he said he would do, trust that he loves us and is taking care of us. Trust that his will is good, just, right and perfect. Trust is not always easy, but who better to trust than the one who will never leave us or forsake us, the one who gave his life so we could live, the one who always keeps his word, and never pushes us away? I trust him because he holds my world in his hand. This brings us to our third step, which is to be Patient (5). "We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next..." We must wait upon him. His timing is always perfect, because he can see the whole picture. He works all things together for the good of those who love him.

So to re-cap here are the steps once again...just in case you missed it.

1.Believe
2.Trust
3.Be Patient

Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect exemplary lifestyle, teaching us the way to his Father. He took the sins of the world upon his shoulders, and died so that we might live. But he didn't remain dead. He rose again the third day and sits at the right hand of God. But more importantly, he lives inside of those who love and believe in him. He's not just a Sunday morning God, he's The God who loves us more than we will ever be able to comprehend. He desires to have a relationship with us on a daily basis. And just as Paul wrote in Romans, God created us to believe in him, to trust him, and to wait (be patient) upon him.

Photographs and Memories

I love how an old photo can cause a flood of memories. It's amazing how much emotion we tie to certain events in our lives. Just like when you ask someone where they were when the twin towers fell seven years ago today. Almost everyone you run into can tell you exactly where they were when they got the news, what they were doing, and what they did to get a live feed of the events. Being that today marks the seventh anniversary of that fateful day, I have been reading several articles and browsing through famous photos taken throughout the weeks after the attacks. There were several families that lost so much that day. There were also many who were fortunate enough to go home to their families. I think about those who lost, those who were granted a second chance, and those who were not directly affected. We as a nation have all been changed by the events of that day.

As a part of a school project that year (2001), we were commissioned to put together a scrapbook of September 11th. I will always look back on that school year with thankfulness for my teacher who encouraged us to remember the past and embrace the future. She told us that as we go through life, there will be memorials that we set up to remember the trials we have been through, and as we traveled along lifes highway, we could alway revisit those memorials. She went on to explain that just as you visit a park, you cannot live your life on a park bench. You must remember the past, be thankful that Jesus has brought you through and rejoice for what lies ahead. Her words of wisdom resonate within my spirit to this day.

It is so vital as we remember the past, to look to the future. Often times we get stuck in tragedy and cannot break free from it. But in Jesus you can find the freedom you need to overcome fear, pain, and loss. Freedom to live in such a way that you don't mourn the past, but you become healed from the hurt and can go on living, remembering, reflecting, and rejoicing.

I recently stumbled on a song, that has become somwhat controversial, yet still holds truth. It's called Healer, by Hillsong. Here are the lyrics.

Healer

You hold my every moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

And heal all my disease

I trust in You

I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer

I believe You are all I need

I believe You're my Portion

I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

When we are in the darkest times in our life, Jesus is by our side, urging us to trust in Him to be our healer, to be everything we need, and to know that nothing is impossible for Him.

My favorite Poem

I love the poem Aspire by Emily Dickinson. It is by far my favorite poem of all time. This actually is amazing because any time someone asks me what my favorite this or that is, I often reply with I have too many to name a favorite. But there is something different about poetry, an this poem specifically. Each time I read over the lines, I feel pulses of passion rushing through my veins, I come alive, and somehow gain confidence that "Hey, I can be who I was created to be!"

It's funny how I got to the place where I actually enjoy and understand poetry. I always thought as a child that couldn't understand the meaning or even attempt to decipher what lie beneath the surface. But somehow in my growing up I have discovered how much I enjoy a poem, how it can move me, how it can so perfectly describe an emotion or the way I view the world. Poetry is a word artist's brush, in which they stroke the page with meaning and depth that makes a lasting impression.

So if you feel the way I used to about poetry, I encourage you to try something different for a change. Grab your favorite cup o' Joe and find a big overstuffed chair to sit in and read a book of poetry. I think that somehow you will find what I am talking about.

Until next time I leave you with my favorite poem:

Aspire

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise
And then if we are true to form
Our statures touch the skies

The Heroism we recite
Would be a daily thing
Did not ourselves the Cubits warp
For fear to be a king.